Going through a divorce is a significant life transition that can be emotionally challenging and overwhelming. While healing and moving forward take time, avoiding certain mistakes can make the process smoother and help you reclaim your happiness. If you want to start living your best life, here are ten things you should never do after a divorce, along with a crucial bonus tip to prevent unnecessary heartbreak and setbacks.
1. Don’t Rush Into a New Relationship
The loneliness after a divorce can be overwhelming, but jumping into a new relationship before healing is a huge mistake. You need to be happy alone, not just trying to fill a void. Focus on rebuilding yourself first—emotionally, mentally, and even financially. Remember, you are the prize, and anyone worthy of you will come into your life at the right time.
2. Avoid Trash-Talking Your Ex
Speaking negatively about your ex, whether to friends, on social media, or especially in front of your kids, only keeps you emotionally tied to the past. It also makes you look bitter rather than empowered. Instead, channel your energy into leveling up, not tearing someone else down.
3. Don’t Neglect Your Finances
Divorce often comes with financial changes, and it’s crucial to take control of your money. Set a budget, track your expenses, and plan for your financial future. Financial independence is part of your glow-up, and getting your finances in order will set you up for success in the long run.
4. Don’t Isolate Yourself
It’s easy to retreat into a shell after a divorce, avoiding social interactions and feeling embarrassed. However, now is the time to lean on your support system. Many people admire those who leave unhappy marriages, and being divorced is not something to be ashamed of. Surround yourself with positive people who remind you that this is a new beginning, not the end.
5. Avoid Oversharing on Social Media
Your divorce journey is personal, and posting every detail online invites unnecessary opinions and drama. Keep certain aspects private and focus on healing offline. If you need support, talk to a close friend or therapist rather than broadcasting your emotions for the world to see.
6. Don’t Use Your Kids as Messengers
Divorce is between you and your ex, not your children. Avoid putting them in the middle by making them relay messages or take sides. The best way to help them cope is by maintaining stability in their lives and shielding them from the drama. Their emotional well-being should always come first.
7. Don’t Make Rash Decisions
Major life changes like moving out of state, quitting your job, or making big purchases should be approached with caution. Give yourself time to adjust before making drastic decisions based on emotion. Stability is key during this transition, so make choices with a clear mind.
8. Don’t Ignore Your Health
Stress from divorce can manifest in physical and mental health issues, so prioritize self-care. Eat well, exercise, and ensure you’re getting enough sleep. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so taking care of yourself should be a top priority.
9. Stop Blaming Yourself
Divorce is rarely one person’s fault, and constantly blaming yourself only prolongs your pain. Be kind to yourself and recognize that this is just one chapter of your life, not your entire story. You are stronger than you think, and this is an opportunity for growth and renewal.
10. Don’t Stop Dreaming
Your dreams and aspirations are still valid, and in many ways, they may now be even more achievable. Sometimes, marriage can hold people back from pursuing their passions. Now is your chance to create a vision for your future and chase it with everything you’ve got. You deserve the best, and this is your time to shine.
Bonus: Don’t Seek Revenge on Social Media
One of the biggest mistakes people make after a divorce is going on social media to seek revenge or “win” the breakup. Whether it’s posting about your ex, venting your emotions online, or flaunting a new relationship to make them jealous, these actions do more harm than good. They scream one thing: “I’m still stuck on you.”
Imagine your ex showing your posts to their new partner, saying, “Look, they’re still obsessed with me.” You went through all the paperwork and emotional turmoil not to stay attached to the past but to move forward. Engaging in public drama only gives your ex control over your emotions, and you don’t want that.
Final Thoughts
There you have it—ten things you should never do after a divorce, plus a crucial bonus tip about staying off social media drama. If this resonates with you, remember that your best life is waiting for you. Embrace the journey, focus on your personal growth, and step into this next chapter with confidence and strength.
You are unstoppable, and this is just the beginning of your amazing new life!
About:
I’m Kecia Clarke Michel! I’m a divorce lawyer with over 25 years of experience. My mission is to empower women to level up their lives, embrace their personal style, and focus on self-love.
I love inspiring women to embrace self-love with the strategies I share. When we let go, we level up! I encourage you to book that trip, dress up, and look your best no matter what you’re going through. I’m here to get you excited for what’s ahead!
Feel free to visit my YouTube channel! It isn’t just about legal tips—it’s about building a confident, stylish life. It’s a blend of style and heart, where I spill the tea on divorce, relationships, and pitfalls to avoid. We’re diving deep into self-love and empowerment!
All of the resources I provide are meant to enhance your life, make you happy and inspire you to live your best life! Let’s redefine your narrative, one stylish step at a time.
When we move on, we level up!